Tuna Tartar on a Bed of Cucumber and Mint

How good will you look in a purple shirt and tie smoking a cigar lit by a beautiful woman in whiteface? You’ll be pimpin! If you thought the bufallo milk was a big hit, just wait until you try the powers of raw flesh. We’re talkin alchemy. Give thanks to the gods. You’ll soon have a whole entourage of Geisha.

The Tuna
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1 lb sushi grade tuna
1/4 teaspoon black mustard seeds toasted and ground
1/4 teaspoon yellow mustard seeds toasted and ground
1 cayenne pepper seeded and minced
3 spring onions or scallions minced
2 Tbs olive oil
1 tsp soy sauce
juice of one lime
pinch of salt
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Trim the tuna and cut into 1/4 inch cubes. Mix all ingredients gently, careful not bruise the flesh. Refrigerate for 20 minutes until ready to plate.

The Cucumber Mint Salad
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1 cucumber seeded and cut into 4″ sticks
2 Tbs chopped mint
2 Tbs chopped cilantro
1 oz. rice wine vinegar
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp olive oil
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This is where you make use of that mint garden again. And you balked David. See how handy? Don’t be afraid of the word Metrosexual. That translates to “man with entourage of geisha” or “playah” depending on what area of Tokyo you hang out.

Toss the ingredients with cucumber and mint. Arrange a two story bed and mound the tartar on top freeform. Don’t use a ring or mold, that’s a bit fussy even for a man who’s comfortable with his sexuality. Pair with a chilled dry sake like Bichuwajo Junmai Ginjo or if she can’t handle her spirits, a vodka martini with a lime twist. Serve as an appetizer to black sesame crusted salmon with wasabi lime emulsion or serve as part of your tapas menu.